Sunday, February 17, 2013

IF LOOKS COULD HEAL



LIVIN’ L.A. VIDA BUENO

Temecula, CA – It wouldn’t be the month of Love for this MMJr without a story about the prettiest and hottest doctor this side of, ever! In the latest look at the real life feminized side of cannabis, aka Mary Jane Green whose hidden nature is revealed in Memoirs of Mr. Pete &Mary Jane Green, the Temecula Calendar casts its eye on Sona Patel, MD, a 420 doctor who has a calendar guaranteed to give you short term memory loss like a fat joint of dank.
Long just a beautiful smiling face in cannabis mag ads and on her biz cards advertising 1-888-4-DOC-420 (see link), Dr. Patel graced the cover of the October 2012 issue JEMM including an interior story. Reading the story I made a mental note to self for my recommendation renewal. So after saying “Hasta La Chevy Vega” to John Diaz and Howard Vlieger (see Yes Ma’am,No GMOs), I set off to see the good (-looking) Doc Patel via the poor man’s chauffer, public transportation. 


Dr. Patel maintains two locations in LA and one was just down the street from the Ukrainian Culture Center on Melrose Ave. site of the NORML fundraiser and my very first book signing event. Yes Sports Fans, you just can’t make this stuff up, but stay with me it gets better.

This stretch of Melrose is citified compared with the trendier décor section by LACC. Located within walking distance of two neighborhood storefronts, the doctor’s office has a walk-in clinic feel but reveals a medium-sized room with rows of cushion seat chairs. The waiting room which resembled a room you might have in a meeting hall, featured a large flat screen TV playing a familiar blockbuster and was three-quarters full of mostly men waiting to be called. A stocky but homie-style badged security man stood in the double open screen grilled doorway.

The subdued recessed lighting that runs atop the ceiling over the sign-in and pick-up windows then all the way to the area of rooms housing your particular doctor gives off a warm 80s motel vibe, in stark contrast to the office of my first doctor visit/rec on Venus Blvd.
As I relaxed a bit from my anticipation, I had long since dropped the expectation of bumping into the doc via my adventure with Jay & Silent Bob, see Scoops and Poops. With the exception of an overweight woman in a wheelchair, most of the men seemed young and not physically/visually disabled. To the untrained eye they would appear to be young city slackers much like you might encounter around a liquor store corner.
The more correct picture, however, would be that this is the fallout from the decades of fleecing/pimping the public to big Pharma; an inner core of people unable to work the style of jobs left from looting the economy due to GMO food behavior modification and adolescent school doping programs featuring Adderall and Ritalin. Reflecting on the unique position of being old enough to see what is happening and what once was in this country, my name is called and a door opens to reveal my attending physician.

Before me stands my attending physician who is not leggy at all. In fact, my doctor isn’t even a female. But hey, I didn’t expect to be treated by Marcus Welby; that stuff only happens on TV Land.
My doc was polite and professional. I was efficiently expedited and issued a new recommendation suitable for framing after it expires. Before I left the office I had the opportunity to purchase a 2013 calendar of the good doctor. Holy Chijuawawas!

Though I guess the flip side of being so ‘Bollywood’ is getting your male peers to notice your degree rather than wait for you to burst into song, Dr. Patel has been the 420 Doc for over eight years and illustrates one of the unique facets open to those invested in the Mary Jane business opportunities now available thanks to the feds.
Speaking of Mary Jane, after obtaining my renewed license to chill, I knew exactly just where I was going to re-up. It was a nice spot across the street and down the block called The Good Life Collective in the neighborhood at the UCC, near LACC. Ringing the ‘Good Life’ doorbell as the ink dried on my rec, I was buzzed inside.
After filling out my paperwork, another hand-me-down of government intervention (see Memoirs), I was let into a room where a college age student type young woman stood behind the counter. Her name I found out was Hanna, and she was knowledgeable, friendly, and bright in that perky way of pride in ownership. And therein lies the residual magic of Mary Jane. Thanks to government intervention, you can experience the oneness of respectful attachment to cannabis from a total stranger when before you would only be able to see that from a friend of the friend you were ‘picking up’ from. Every cloud has a silver lining.

As I prepare to go watch the All-Star game between the West and the East in honor of MJ’s and Charles Barkley’s Fiftieth B-days, should you wonder if I will seek an interview with the exotic doctor, perhaps diverting my book tour? Well to paraphrase Michael Jordan when asked about LeBron versus Kobe (“5 beats 1”),


“Four Beats Two”

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