Friday, January 31, 2014

REAL GRASS, FAKE SNOW?



NO ONE WILL FORGET THIS SUPER BOWL WEEK

Temecula, CA – Amazing, simply amazing. And just when I thought things could get no stranger.

Looks like this reporter was wrong.

Let’s recap, Sports Fans. We have a large craft sitting on the moon that NASA has been tracking. We are on our last Pope. This is the first real ‘bud’ Bowl. Tonight, accompanied by President Dwight D. Eisenhower's great-granddaughter, a man named Dr. Dream will be in Temecula to awaken the citizenry, Obama was in LA for chicken after a sleight-of-mouth TPP talk, and a young woman named after a dance is having her birthday today.


And now fake snow!!

Oy vey, such a week I’m having. Looks like you will have to wait for ‘An Apple For The Teacher Who Flunked U’.

Fake snow, after the jump.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHACHA



LEADER OF THE 420NURSES, ALL BONG HIT BOMBSHELLS

Temecula, CA – It only seems fitting as I light two sticks of incense, one called Chronic (green) and the other called Paradise (red), both purchased from Lady of The Lake, our local metaphysical ‘new age’ shop, that ChaCha Va Voom should be celebrating her birthday two days before the first real Bud Bowl and have a b-day at the end of the first month of the year.

Chartering the group of beauties known as the 420Nurses, the still underground but internationally burgeoning model agency becoming more popular than the Suicide Girls (better name, better mantra), ChaCha came to my attention over a year ago at the LA NORML chapter Christmas meeting. 

To be honest though, it was I who came to ChaCha’s attention and for two reasons. The first was the release of Memoirs of Mr. Pete & Mary Jane Green. The second is told in the report, ‘LicensedTo Chill’. If you are curious then follow the link. But be warned, the way into magic is through curiosity or sex.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

OBAMA’S LAST STAND WILL BE LIKE CUSTER


RUSSIANS, AMERICANS, AND WIKILEAKS DUMP BARACK’S KOOL-AID

Temecula, CA – Reading the articles here about different political causes, you might believe that I live
next door to a progressive coffee shop or on a college campus. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I live in the real world just like you do. In fact I live in a bubble called Temecula which is why I leave town to protest or have cause friends out-of-town. Take the conversation this morning around the old water cooler.

A woman was gushing about last night’s State of the Union address given by the very charismatic orator who is now our country’s president.

Dividing this ‘melting pot’ country more than John Hanson [our real first ‘black’ president, see the back of the most recent design issue on a $2 bill, or read past stories here since 2008, if available still], the desired spilt was premeditated and desired to move forward the TPP, started before Obama’s presidency and conceived before he was. Three months into George Dubya’s term started I signed into the club with the motto, “If their lips are moving…”

Having blown a false smoke ring of hope with ‘marijuana is safer than alcohol…’, the memo about the two Super Bowl team states and their legalization of pot, the old Kansas City Shuffle, a sleight-of-hand trick to fool a mark. Last night before a dazzled racially intimidated or racially motivated TV audience Obama poured out kool-aid and said it was his heart. 

After the jump some videos, links, and what you can do, unless you are for the selling out of this country’s workers, past and future. If that’s the case, don’t make the jump and go back to sleep. Dream of Matlock.

WILL DR. DREAM AWAKEN TEMECULA?

IKE’S GREAT-GRANDDAUGHTER COMING TO T-TOWN YOGA FRIDAY

We’re all dreamers, and let’s face it, from the time that we were able to remember our dreams we have
looked up into the heavens and pondered, where does this come from? This eternal forever, those star lights, these vibratory patterns of bliss and wonderment. What’s it all about, Alfie, and who is creating it?

Mark [Dr. Dream] Peebler speaks about waking up, about rising to unravel your passions and live your greatest truths. It is literally ingrained in your cellular memory to believe that you can do anything. And though that could explain the reverse reality given last night about Obama’s TPP (see this story), Dr. Dream is coming to town to awaken individuals, not lull them to sleep with false hope, carrots, bravado, and media manipulation, along with Ike’s great-granddaughter.

THE HERMENEUTICS OF A WOMAN’S BODY

THIS IS A SMART BOOB

Temecula, CA – As some of you may notice, this reporter seems in the middle stuck between two simmering female causes. 

On the left coast I cover a lot of stuff from the cannabis activist group known as the 420Nurses. Besides activism like pursuing signatures for the CCHI Legalize Weed [for non-medical people] or dissolving pot stigma for patient access, the model group with prettier young women than the Suicide Girls (this from an ex-Suicide Girl) has an active photography side with its own style of picture art. Also because of the cannabis aura there is a certain enchantment that is likened in my memoirs book beginning around page 73 [Chapter 7 ‘Start of the Magical Mystery Tour']. Their charismatic leader is a young woman named ChaCha Va Voom, obviously her stage name. This is a scene as defined by George Plimpton.

Over on the Wall Street side of the country, the O.C.T.P.F.A.S. shiver indoors reading paperbacks until it becomes a lot less nipplely outdoors. The reason for that is because the OCTPFAS stands for Outdoor Co-ed Topless Pulp Fiction Appreciation Society and right now it’s winter in New York City where this group meets. The still trending Sugarcoating the Bare Essentials introduced the east coast group to my readers. Both groups are activists and I support both causes. This story comes from the second.
One cause, the pot cause, is more understandable to people and Super Bowl fans. This other cause, boob equality, is more cerebral though both are considered cultural and desirable.

Here to explain the intellectual side of the boob equality is someone who doesn’t just read, she writes. Author Lidia Yuknavitch’s book publishing story of The Chronology of Water after the jump.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

MARY JANE GETS READY FOR PRIME TIME

MARIJUANA'S SUPER BOWL STORYLINE IS SMOKING

Temecula, CA - Mainstream media manipulation always starts out treating a serious subject as a joke to take your mind off what is important, then they tell you the latest about Justin Bieber. When it was found out that Barack Obama is blood-related to Dick Cheney, it was made into a joke so no one would suspect that was the reason he was chosen to become president.

Now the issue of the medical side of pot has come up as a way to help injured football players and rather than throw a serious light on the subject, presented here unedited [except for paragraph titles] is MSNBC's way of looking at something that took the life of Junior Seau and others, not to mention people crippled for life.

'As the Super Bowl draws nearer, the anticipation for the matchup of the league's top offense vs. the league's top defense grows.

But growing nearly as quickly in New York? The shadow marijuana is casting over the big game.

Monday, January 27, 2014

THE MAN IN THE MOON…HAS A HOUSE



MORE NEWS FROM NEVER A STRAIGHT ANSWER (NASA)

Temecula, CA – Recently, people I call ‘foreign correspondents’ have been coming out of the woodwork and supplying me tips, aka source stories. This latest story comes from a young man, not a young woman, and has to do with space, not spacing off (pot). In fact, this latest story making the rounds on London’s Daily Mail and a few other news outlets has nothing to do with politics. That is unless you include a taxpayer funded government agency withholding information from the public, political. For me, that is just business as usual. 


It seems fitting that this story would be about something in space since in the year that he spent here in T-Town, only one sadly, he had a photo he took published in Neighbors magazine one St. Valentine issue a few years back. If you saw the picture of the floating cloud heart over Murrieta with the sun backlighting it, then you know the picture and the fine print publication it appeared in.
And now from Jaryn Anderson, this latest tip, after the jump.

FOOTBALL NEWS BEFORE SUPER BOWL XLVIII



FROM THE DESK OF THE “FUGITIVE” COMMISSIONER

Hello Football Fans,

Since the media has another week almost to conger up things to discuss leading up to the Super Bowl, I guess that's what is happening with this letter as well.

Upon request from a few loyal readers, here is the latest.

Enjoy,

The Fugitive Commissioner of the FFHL

Friday, January 24, 2014

JERRY RICE, LEON SANDCASTLE TO PICK PRO BOWL TEAM THIS YEAR


SCHEDULE CHANGE, FAMOUS RBs USED TO HEIGHTEN AUDIENCE

Temecula, CA – In an effort to fatten the TV market share of the Pro Bowl, a football game forgotten by everyone except those into sports jock strap minutia normally played after the Super Bowl, the game’s playing schedule has been moved forward 3 weeks to this weekend. 

On top of the schedule advance, three of the most famous running backs of time, Jerry Rice (SF49er fame), Deion Sanders (Dallas Cowboy fame), and Leon Sandcastle (#1Draft choice KC Chiefs, 2013 Madden NFL fame) have been added to bring viewers in. 

After the jump we take a look back at Sandcastle’s first appearance from out of nowhere, it seemed.

And then to the t-shirt that is making the rounds at present in some sports circles and the man behind it, again, after the jump.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

THE RICHARD SHERMAN CONTROVERSY


WHEN OUTRAGEOUS MEANT SOMETHING IN SPORTS

Temecula, CA – Building up to the Super Bowl is the usual heightened controversy which seems to happen every year. I love the Super Bowl, and I don’t watch sports. This year however, the bone of

contention is a player’s after game, seemingly off-point interview on camera. The player’s name is Richard Sherman, and he hails from So Cali just up the road in another city called Compton. The ‘straight-outta’ place of Los Angeles. 

Watching the game and the interview, since Sherman (Seahawks) had just made the game defining end play, I was surprised to hear the taunts made to/about the player bested in the play. But rather than a quick judgment, you could tell there was some past resentment between the two that wasn’t team competition. 

With 60 million watching the incident, the outburst has grown beyond the person to the core level of being yourself. Coming from an extended family containing a college professor (Santa Barbara), a VP for General Motors (Detroit), and a judge helping to decide Detroit’s bankruptcy, I can relate to being yourself and how that can get you into trouble. And I didn’t come from Compton.

ADS YOU WON’T SEE ON SUPER BOWL SUNDAY


THE BANNED LIST OF 2013

Temecula, CA – It’s that time of year again and this year beside the usual matchup of amped Super
Bowl teams for the championship, we have the anticipated wait, unless you peep the web, on the game’s ads, many of which will be talked about by the water cooler on Monday.

With both teams playing from the only two states which have legalized pot for non-medical enjoyment playing in a state where you have to be dying to get a last meal joint for medical reasons, coupled with Obama’s hypocrisy toward Mary Jane – maui wowie to him – don’t look for any Bud Bowl beer commercials unless Budweiser has balls as big as beer kegs.

Another something you won’t see on Groundhog Day, shared this year with the Super Bowl is this year’s list of banned commercials, presented here as part of our grown-up format, after the jump.

The very first commercial is a hoot but requires a keen eye to catch the joke. It’s a condom ad for safe sex, sort of.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

FOOTBALL NEWS AFTER NFL CONFERENCE TITLE GAMES



FROM THE DESK OF THE “FUGITIVE” COMMISSIONER

Hello Football Fans,

With only two games over the weekend (plus college "exhibition games), you'd think there wouldn't be much to talk about.  

But I believe it's worth your while to read the Commish this week, which includes three quiz questions, a preview of the 2014 NFL Draft, and a few other tidbits.

We're headed for an outdoor, potentially bad weather Super Bowl on February 2nd. 

Enjoy,

The Fugitive Commissioner of the FFHL

WHO’S IN YOUR WALLET?



RUN FOR OFFICE, GET RICH OFF POOR TAXPAYERS

Temecula, CA – Though you may be paying for football without knowing it, at least there is enjoyment out of that. However according to a new report by the non-partisan Center for Responsive Politics, a majority of members of Congress -- for the first time -- are millionaires.

Of 534 current members of Congress, at least 268 had an average net worth of $1 million or more in
2012, according to disclosures filed last year by all members of Congress and candidates. Last year only 257 members, or about 48 percent of lawmakers, had a median net worth of at least $1 million.

Members of Congress have long been far wealthier than the typical American, but the fact that now a majority of members -- albeit just a hair over 50 percent -- are millionaires represents a watershed moment at a time when lawmakers are debating issues like unemployment benefits, food stamps and the minimum wage, which affect people with far fewer resources, as well as considering an overhaul for the tax code.

GROWN UP TALK ABOUT FOOTBALL FROM THE KING


NOT A SPORTS FAN? YOU’RE STILL AN ATHLETIC SUPPORTER

Temecula, CA – Continuing our grown-up news slant for thinking readers, this report is for those even outside the bubble of T-Town, for you see, Sports Fans, we are all part of someone’s bubble. By the way, this report is being written while listening repeated playing of Talking Heads (live) Burning Down the House.

Gregg Easterbrook has recently released a new book titled The King of SportsFootball’s Impact on America. In his book Gregg explains how whether or not you have had a kid in high school or college, or even bought a pro football ticket – EVER – you are still helping pick up the jock straps for the owners, the 1%. Also covered are the stats of graduate players and those who actually make a career of football, like Junior Seau. 

After the jump hear Gregg’s own words.
Enjoy the Super Bowl. You helped pay for it, as did I. Go Broncos! 

Monday, January 20, 2014

EAST COAST GIRLS CHALLENGE WEST COAST HOLLYWOOD

TEMECULA CALENDAR GROWS UP

Temecula, CA – As I read about the new committees formed by the Temecula city councilman who as
a Perris businessman lives here in a big house, slain musician Larry Robinson, killed yards from City Hall last year seems to be a passing footnote now. Sad, and then I remembered that life in the Temecula area is lived in a bubble like that boy played by John Travolta.

After being warned not to push the envelope or risk being ostracized by Google + as NSFW, the still trending Top Ten news story, Sugarcoating the Bare Essentials, a piece about freedom under existing NYC law codes for all women, seems to have gotten some male knickers in a bunch.

So in thanking that east coast group of outdoor pulp fiction readers with helping this news blog grow up, we would like to continue with the next installment and become this area’s only GROWN UP news by reporting about Free The Nipple, a new movie that may be coming to LA to challenge the violent [the new '300' & 3 Days To Kill, etc.] status quo of Hollywood, after the jump.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

FOOTBALL NEWS AFTER NFL DIVISIONAL CONFERENCE PLAYOFF GAMES



FROM THE DESK OF THE “FUGITIVE” COMMISSIONER

Hello Football Fans,

I've got a bunch of quiz questions this week, as many of you seem to like those more than my
commentary.

This week I tried to give you some minutia that you may not have noted from just watching or reading about the four NFL playoff games.

Please respond and comment if you feel the urge.  Are any of you FFHL'ers still alive out there, or has picking games ATS beat y'all up too badly? (I can relate).

The Fugitive Commissioner of the FFHL

Friday, January 17, 2014

BEACH EVENT KICKS OFF RUN FOR THE CAUSE



ALASKAN TEEN STARTS IN CALIFORNIA


Temecula, CA – The words of Martin Luther King spoken to me in 1961 continue to ring true, “The kids are the future.” As Temecula’s second music prodigy, a pianist this time instead of a violinist, prepares to play Carnegie Hall, another teenager, this time from Alaska, prepares to enter the record books on another level: the second youngest USA transcontinental runner.


Brett, Kris, David, and Olivia Wilcox are pleased to announce that the Sitka Conservation Society is now partnering with them as they run across America in their efforts to raise awareness about genetically modified organisms [GMOs] that pose a danger both to health and our environment. The Sitka Conservation Society has done extensive advocacy work opposing genetically modified salmon, aka Frankenfish, as well as community work to build sustainable food systems. They are partnering with Running The Country because of their joint concerns about genetically modified organisms.

ONE NURSE TALE



MEET XESIA, A 420NURSES MODEL AND PATIENT


Temecula, CA – Less than a day back on the job and comes this report concerning the recent attempt to remove medical cannabis from patients in Washington State through legal maneuvers in the legislature. Rather than editorialize this young woman’s plight or pass judgment on the politicians, the young 420Nurses model’s story is presented exactly as she told and wrote it down with no editing. There is no need to sensationalize the truth.

“Hello. My name is Xesia Anaya, on Wednesday I went to Olympia to speak on behalf of the patients in Washington State. I was asked to share my story, and how Cannabis saved my life. So I got brave, and this is what I told them..." 












EAST COAST SHUTDOWN AFFECTS WEST COAST NEWS



LIKE IN WEDDING CRASHERS, “HE’S BACK!!”


Temecula, CA – Hello Sports Fans, I’m back. 

This ‘forced vacation’ was a blessing in disguise as there were some wizardly things to attend
to in that downtime I would not have noticed, possibly. The office computer developed problems right after that last story, News Views Nurses… and the replacement part which should have come from California, instead wound up being ordered from the east. Of course the east got hammered and shutdown for two weeks. Somewhere in that Lemony Snicket unfortunate turn of events a month slipped by and I stepped outside of current affairs. So we got some 'plainin’ to do, Lucy.

First off besides the 3.8 earthquake felt the other night and the playoffs – an up-to-date Fugitive Commissioner sports report will post later today – my favorite girl group, the 420Nurses, have released a 2014 pinup calendar foldout courtesy of Ruben’s excellent MMJ monthly tabloid size magazine, LA JEMM, pictured at right.