Monday, August 15, 2016

WAKE ME, SHAKE ME, BAKE ME, THEN TAKE ME

CANNABIS AND SEX; WHAT YOUR MAMA NEVER TOLD YOU

Temecula, CA – Some of the people who've read Memoirs have said to me, “[Mr. Pete], you sure did a lot of f**king and smoking,” to which I reply, “Well, it is a memoirs book.” But honestly, my book isn't about the stops, it's about the journey. The sex along the way hit the bookends; feast [Indianapolis] or famine [California]. Most of the time, it was catch as catch can, but I always had a hold card – cannabis.

Early in my acquaintance with Mary Jane, the man who would, much later in life, become a reverend, made a remark to say a pleasant surprise awaited me besides a deeper appreciation for jazz music when stoned [bottom, pp.16, Memoirs]. At that time I had no clue as to what he was talking about, though shortly afterwards I did get a glimpse and a strange blow-back reaction [pp. 20].


During the time spent in Indy after having discovered this mystical effect cannabis has concerning a person's sex life, my booty call routine ran the same way. Being involved in the political scene in the heady days of Nixon's Re-election, chances of getting laid were better than in summer theatre though only one chapter is dedicated to those particular memoirs. The reason for such brevity is, at that time I was only standing in the front foyer of Mary Jane's House of Pleasure. I still had much to learn and much to write about.

If any reader out there has experienced being stoned, even once, in a relaxed setting with friends who are music aficionados, listening to a song or certain arrangement, and hearing it, really hearing it, for the first time; this is the closest comparison that I can make to the cannabis sexual experience. Literally it is like you unlock a part of yourself that you have only read about in someone else's romance novels. You leave the gutter of Hustler facials and enter the gates of Camelot, carnally.

If all that sounds mind-blowing, it is. And that is the reason cannabis and sex isn't meant for everyone, or every couple. But for those who do, an evening with some wine and weed will put some rose in those cheeks, bass back in your voice, as my mother would say, and give you a groove if you never had one.


All drugs have an effect on your sex life, but cannabis affects you. Remember, your brain is hard-wired for THC and none of Sean Parker's pseudo-docs built those into your grey matter, did they? However, in times past, all mysteries to cannabis were either closely guarded by the shaman or forbidden to be revealed to those outside the mystic/priest class.

Life is a vibration and each of us have centers of energy called chakras. Just as Rose and other essential oils affect these chakras through their scent vibrations, so too does cannabis but in a different way entirely. You see, Sports Fans, cannabis connects your chakras [at least the first four] to your sexual partner's, a temporarily enchanting arrangement especially on a full moon lit night. The magic in that imagery once caused a big city publisher couple to both blush up in LA. Sorry about that, you two.

Cannabis unlocks you from your typical 'bumping-nasties' mindset and makes you Shakespearean, a surprising turn-of-events you can sometimes have an OOBE to and see yourself. Cannabis Neo's the night's Matrix for you; through smells, moans, scents, movements, words, and feelings that are no longer in B&W, but now in color. In living color, plus the element of time seems to be suspended in the moment. Not only is this happening to you, your partner is witnessing this same connection. It's the two of you inside your very own bliss, together.

This isn't to say that you can't have a magic moment outside of some cannabis evening, see pages 89-90 [you know where]. It's just that with cannabis, a joint or a pipe load, the magic moment was something I, as the guy, controlled; or if she also had weed, shared in. More than that, you will have to get from my Junior Woodchuck Cannabis Guide on the subject, the Memoirs of Mr. Pete & Mary Jane Green, including much more on the esoteric connection, for those so curious.

Thanks to this particular time in California, the time before AUMA or Prop 64, a period called the 'wild, wild west of pot', you don't have to settle for reading about my salad days. Have your Creme de la crème with Foria “...the most enjoyable sex product of the year.” - GQ

“Foria hit me and it hit me hard, in the absolutely most delicious way.” - Cosmo


“A weed treat for the lady parts.” “The orgasm was definitely better than my usual handiwork” - The Bold Italic

“Sex was intense. … orgasms were longer, way crazier, and felt enhanced...” - Vice

This product is available, without a Schedule 2 prescription now, at this website or from Pacific Coast Haze [Weedmaps] if you live in the most southern part of RC to the beaches of SD.

Don't just take my word for it. Make your own Memoirs. You never know, one day you may write a book; and you want to have something to say in it. 

(OOBE - Out Of Body Experience, Ed. All shots, 420nurses photo art models)

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